The Smiles We Wear

The Cozy Cup Cafe was situated on the corner of a quiet street. The cafe was so small that one could barely recognise it from a distance, which worked for the regular customers as they would easily find a seat available. However that day was unusual, the cafe was filled with humans and pets and chatters. There was a reading session being conducted by the locals’ favourite “Neerja Chatterjee”. She had written excellently on topics like human relations, familial connections, slightly hinting towards the political backdrop of the their town. Everyone was very excited to hear her speak. 

Amongst those several people, there was Aruvi, a final year college student, passionate about books and knowledge, but heavily buried in coursework. From past couple of days she had been struggling to balance everything though somehow she had managed time for Neerja Chatterjee. Wearing a hoodie, straight fit jeans and hair tied in bun, she entered the cafe hastily. Anyone could tell that she hadn’t slept properly in days. As she entered, she went to the counter to place her order. Aruvi had been coming to this cafe since the last 5 years. She knew the entire menu by heart and her staple order had always been a cup of iced latte without sugar. 

At the counter, she met Arjun, whose presence to her had become as familiar as the scent of fresh coffee. With tousled hair and a quiet demeanor, Arjun had been working there for the past three years. At just 18, he had escaped a life where his future had been decided already by his scholarly family. Confronting the adversity of expectations of degrees, titles, and accolades loomed over him, Arjun craved freedom—the kind that came with unplanned adventures and meeting new people. With nothing but a handful of savings and an unwavering resolve, he ran away from home. Since then, he had been living alone, balancing two other jobs to save for his dreams. These past 3 years had exposed him to many stories, experiences and lessons that he could never have achieved by being confined within the walls.

Over the years, Arjun and Aruvi had spent innumerable moments together, where they had shared bits and pieces from their lives with each other, where they could go days without talking but still pick up from where they had left. A bond where there was a rather quiet understanding, they could talk for hours or not talk at all but there was a certain level of serenity which neither Aruvi nor Arjun could put into words. 

“The usual?” Arjun asked her. “Today’s not the day for something different” she replied with a slight sigh. “These assignments are getting too stressful, huh?” Arjun asked although Aruvi looked at him as she took out a copy of “Undercurrent” by Neerja Chatterjee, a book she read when she was 9 years old and also the book that inspired her to study the intersection of sociology and politics. Further as Arjun prepared her coffee she said “I can’t believe I’m finally getting to see her” and Arjun replied with a warm smile. As they continued their conversation, there was hectic commotion behind them, it was basically a bunch of people arguing about the chair placements. 

“I have never seen Cozy Cup like this. This is the first time in 3 years that it’s been so full” Arjun commented. “Correction.. 5 years” Aruvi replied snarkily. “Who suggested this place anyways? People rarely know about it” she continued. To this another waiter replied “It was Malti, I heard.” 

“Malti??” Arjun and Aruvi said together as they were most certainly shocked. 

Malti was a middle aged woman who had been coming to the cafe for the past 3 months but never spoke to anyone instead she would just come, place her order, the same order every single time and would sit at the same table everyday. It was almost as if she had become a constant presence in the café, a familiar face among the staff, yet somehow, remained a perfect stranger. 

The hustle bustle continued for another 30 mins and then things started settling down. More people started entering and suddenly the cafe was filled with soft chatters, the waiters were running everywhere taking orders, half of the crowd was standing even though there was no place left, all eagerly waiting for Neerja to come.

 As more people kept entering, Arjun was given the duty to manage the customers and accommodate them. He stood near the door as Malti entered, all of a sudden Arjun found himself fumbling and feeling clueless, he wanted to thank her for all the profit their business was making but his mind drew a blank. As Aruvi stood by the counter and saw Arjun struggling, she decided to step in. Even when they had first met he didn’t say much apart from taking her order. However, Aruvi was a very social person. She was the kind of person who always knew what to say whatever the situation might be, the kind of person who always made someone’s day better by just being there, the kind of person who always greeted everyone with a bright smile. 

She met Malti with a soft smile and took her in the backroom that was nicely organised and consisted of comfortable seatings. She asked her to sit there till the session started. “Its okay I am not here for the session, I just want my regular coffee and then I’ll leave” Aruvi looked at her with strange eyes and thought to herself who would be crazy enough to miss a session by Neerja Chatterjee. But for Malti her battles were different. She had reached a stage in life where these things didn’t matter to her, she just wanted to live a simple and an unbothered life. She demanded to be left alone, so Aruvi left. 

“Are you doing okay?” She asked Arjun with a teasing smile as she saw him struggling with all the incoming guests. “ I know you’re enjoying this” he replied while rolling his eyes with an accepted laughter. 

The management had got a text from Neerja saying that she would be late by 20 mins as she was stuck in traffic. More people kept entering which then started making things worse. In the midst of all the frenzy an old woman entered. She had hurt her leg so with a crepe bandage she came lurching through the door. Arjun offered help and suggested that she waited in the backroom till the session started. He assisted her till there and then left to attend to other customers. The old woman saw Malti sitting on a chair with her shoulders bent forward and her eyes on her hands that were holding a locket. As soon as she entered, she sensed that something was wrong. Her 35 years of experience as a therapist had most certainly sharpened her ability to read people's body language in an instant.

She approached her with a soft voice “Hey! Mind if I sit?” Malti nodded slightly. So the woman came and sat beside her. “Hi my name is Kashi but people call me Kanu. I’m a counselling therapist. I’ve been in this field for the past 35 years. What’s your name?” Malti looked up hesitantly and replied “Malti.” Kashi tried engaging her in some small talks but she seemed uninterested so she left her alone. But she didn’t have anything better to do either so instead she observed her. As a therapist she had also mastered the art of observing other people without making them uncomfortable. Malti had been sitting in the same position for the past 10 minutes now and had been looking at the locket. As Kashi tried to see the locket, she could only see that it had a face of a man and a woman, the woman was Malti but the man was unknown. Kashi gave a wild guess and thought that it could be her husband or boyfriend, since the locket was heart shaped. 

Kashi couldn’t control herself so she talked further “ My most favourite part about my job is that I get to listen to different stories of different people, some sad, some nostalgic, some sweet. It gives me so much perspective in life. And I get to help these people out which gives me a very fulfilling feeling. Like I’m doing something good you know.” Malti after hearing this looked up, tears rolling down her eyes. “You’re doing a very good job. Helping people out is a good virtue. My husband was a social worker you know. His face used to light up every time he talked about his work. He was also as passionate as you when it came to work.” Kashi listened mindfully “Oh yeah? That’s nice. I see your eyes lighting up when talking about him.” She replied. Malti gave a shy laugh. “Yeah, I guess” Kashi asked further in a tender voice, “So what happened to him?” Malti shook her head hesitantly. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.” Kashi added. “It’s not like that. I don’t think I have the right words.” Malti said as she looked down at the locket, struggling to look up. 

“That’s okay. You can take your time to process.” Kashi replied with a calming voice. 

Talking to Kashi, Malti after a very long time felt like she was in a safe space. Like her story mattered, and could pour her heart out in front of a woman she met just a few moments ago. 

“I think the session is about to start, don’t you want to go?” Malti asked Kashi as she finally looked up at her, she was wearing a dark green Banarasi saree, hair tied in a bun and thick silver bangles in her hand. She looked like someone who knew herself, knew what she wanted. Malti felt a sense of admiration as she looked at her. “No, I think I’ll just sit here, my legs hurt anyways.” Kashi replied assertively as in that moment she just wanted to be there for Malti, as she knew sitting there for her would give her more joy than attending the speaker session, for she understood how emotions can overpower human beings, how they can put them in a box or liberate them, how only a human can heal a human. 

Hearing that, Malti felt an urge to speak whatever there was in her heart. And speak with no filter. So she took a small breath and continued.

“He passed away 3 months ago in a car accident. He brought me here for our 15th anniversary. That was the last time we hung out. I remember how he was so excited to show me this place that he had recently discovered. But I said something about them not having proper ventilation and it really hurt him. I have been thinking about that moment ever since. My husband was a really loving person, and very giving. Till his last breath he never let me feel alone, always stood by my side. But I feel like I didn’t do enough for him. Maybe I didn’t love him enough when he was there. And now I have all this love but I don’t know where to put it, what to do with it.” Kashi listened carefully, and then moved slightly ahead holding her hand, as if she understood and accepted her for who she was. And then after a few moments sitting in that silence she spoke 

“ What is grief? It is love with nowhere to go. You loved him then and you love him now. Often love is not about grand gestures but its in those forgotten moments instead. Love is you coming and sitting here everyday in the memory of your last anniversary, it is you talking about him with such a smile on your face, it is in these moments and that is enough. You can take all this love and put it into something more meaningful, you can move on, live this beautiful life that you have. For love never goes to waste.” 

Malti shook her head and replied “I wish it was that easy. I wish I could control the way I feel.” to which Kashi could say a million things but chose to remain silent. She realised that Malti needed to figure it out by herself and with time she would find out the answers that she sought. So they both sat there in silence. Malti in the introspection of what Kashi said and Kashi in the deep thought that how in this moment she is not a saviour in Malti’s life instead she is just a person who could lend her an ear, could be there for her for just this moment, how she is expected to say nothing, do nothing and that is enough. 

~

Meanwhile, Neerja Chatterjee finally arrived at the Cozy Cup Cafe. Everyone running towards her, screaming her name, wanting an autograph. And leading the crowd is Aruvi, so excited, so grateful, feeling like a child all over again. There’s so much that she wants to say to her but won’t as she probably doesn’t have the words. 

The session started. Neerja started by thanking everyone for being there, she briefly introduced her book which was about two sisters who had recently lost their father in a war. Their way of dealing with bereavement was very different hence they were often at clash with another and the story explores the real meaning of family, if it even meant anything and how one finds peace in solitary. When she was done explaining the synopsis she could see various hands and desperate faces waiting to ask questions. But she laughed and said “I will take questions let me do what I’m here for first.” And she opened her book and read the most impactful monologue from the book. 

"It’s been two years, yet all I hold are questions—frayed edges of thoughts, answers buried with my father. He left behind a bridge, a fragile stretch of silence between my sister and me. Now, we stand on opposite ends, waving across a distance neither of us dares to cross."

"I don’t blame him—not fully. But he didn’t leave us with the roots we needed, only a childhood that felt more like loose soil. I’ve spent years asking myself: What is family, really? Family is not a mirror—it’s a window. Sometimes, it matters for someone to look through, to see you, to hear the tremor of your truth. But most days, you just watch the world turning, shifting, slipping away."

"Is letting go a real choice? Or just a convenient solution to rather intricate problems? I can’t let go of my sister. I’ll hold on, even if my hands grasp nothing but thin air. Because maybe that’s what family is—not the solidity of what you have, but the hope of what you hold on to, even when nothing remains. My battle will be holding on to what remains.”

Silence. Everyone in deep thought and an urge to read the entire story. But there were questions still and Neerja could still see the hands. However there stood Aruvi not able to process anything after hearing the monologue. She stared into nothingness when Arjun came and shook her and said “She’s taking questions, go on ask yours” Aruvi looked at him but she wasn’t entirely there. The spark was gone. Arjun asked “What’s wrong?” “Nothing” she replied and she took her bag along with her copy of ‘Undercurrent’ and left. Arjun stood there wondering what could have possibly went wrong with her. 

Aruvi had a sunshine like presence in other people’s lives. She was everyone’s friend, she only knew love and believed in the greatness of it. However, there would be times when she would look up at the ceiling and wonder, 

‘is giving love not enough to receive love?’ 

This was her battle. And she was all alone. Neerja’s monologue hit her too close to home as she had lost her parents when she was11 years old in a communal riot. Since then she had been trying to hang on to everything that she could, friends, distant relatives, academic validation, her parents’ possessions and so much more. For her life had become an act of holding on, chronically making the right choices, making her life perfect for herself, for the life that she was going to create for herself. Aruvi had learnt to suppress her triggers over the last few years, but Neerja’s words turned out to be very overwhelming for her, she wanted to disappear from the face of earth, not do the right thing for once, cry till her throat was sore. 

A week passed since the reading session, neither Malti nor Aruvi had returned to the cafe. Arjun spent every single day staring at the door waiting for Aruvi to enter with her heavy backpack and sleepy-eyes, demanding coffee- her usual obviously. But nothing of that sort happened. Arjun was getting anxious day by day. Soon enough a letter arrived for him, written to him by Malti. 

Dear Arjun and everyone at Cozy Cup,

Thank you for the warmth you unknowingly offered me. For months, I came to your café, hoping to hold onto a memory, to keep my grief in a corner where it wouldn’t flood my life. But I realize now, love doesn’t belong in shadows. It deserves light, movement, and a chance to bloom again.

I’ve decided to leave the town to embark on a new journey in life as I try to find solace, explore how love exists in different forms and try to forgive myself for the mistakes I made. There’s a place  my husband always wanted to visit—a small coastal village. I think I’ll go there, carry him with me in stories. You see, letting go is not about forgetting. It’s about making space for life again, for the unexpected joy of a new morning. 

A few days ago I might have eavesdropped on your conversation with Aruvi, so I know about you leaving your house for a happier future. I just want to say one thing, while we don’t choose our battles, we do end up fighting for them, and we often fall alone but don’t think of it as a weakness rather your strength and I’m sure you’ll do wonders. Your coffee could use a little more grounding though.

With love,
Malti

Arjun closed the letter, a strange melancholy settling in his heart. He had always sensed that Malti was going through something, but reading her words brought a new clarity. It dawned on him that the world was filled with countless emotions, stories, and connections—so deeply intertwined that even a lifetime might not be enough to unravel their depth and meaning.

And before he could come back in his senses, the door opened, allowing slight breeze to enter, he forced his eyes to look at the door and it was Aruvi, entering just how he had imagined. She came like a force, sat on the counter table in front of Arjun and placed her order- “one iced latte without sugar, a little extra on the ice.” “Where have you been?” Arjun asked her as he looked absolutely confused and relieved all at once. 

“I will tell you everything. First coffee.” Aruvi replied knowing that maybe it was time for her to come to terms with her reality. Accept what all she had been through and how it had impacted her, mentally. Obviously Arjun knew about her parents not being around anymore but she never talked about it freely as it always evoked a sense of emptiness, a realisation that she was alone, all alone after all.

Arjun told her about Malti, her husband, the letter and everything as he made her coffee. And Aruvi told him her long concealed secret. Arjun listened carefully and in the end gave her a look of acceptance and warmth, and just one sentence “You’re not alone.” 

And soon enough Malti’s lines started resonating with him and in that moment he realised life was not just the moments you escape to, but the spaces you create to hold others. It was about holding on to the present—not with clenched fists but with open hands.

And as he stood behind the counter, he felt the quiet truth of it all—life, in its simplest form, was love that moved forward, no matter how heavy the past.